Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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