She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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