Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
