Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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