So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
