I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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