very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
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