Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
