but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
pop tarts are not kleenex
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
