sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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