Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
