im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
