god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
We got so high we made milksteak
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
