How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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