walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
