Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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