Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize