Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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