And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
