It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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