..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
