D3 body, D1 cock
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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