is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
