Christians are straight up FREAKS
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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