Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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