they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
