so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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