This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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