why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize