I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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