It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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