I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize