I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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