we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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