Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
