before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
