This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
as a side note pls kill me
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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