just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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