you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
