Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
