i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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