Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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