apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
