If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
