Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
