Rock
Scissors
Fuck
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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