Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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