So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
