Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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