ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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