just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
The feeling are messing with the penis
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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