Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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