Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
