My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
time to smoke my breakfast
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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