im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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