READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
