hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
you made out with another girl for some wings
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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