I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We left an ass print on the piano.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
