is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
